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Taking the Time to Ask Why

Recently a counselor shared an article entitled "Reengaging At-Risk Girls" by Nona C. Jones. She placed it in my mailbox, noting that she "thought of me" when reading it. I finally had the time to sit down, read it, and reflect today. What a powerful article.

In it, Jones writes this:

"What shows up as defiance is nothing more than defensiveness, defensiveness learned from a girl having to defend her dignity. What shows up as apathy is nothing more than hopelessness, hopelessness learned from a girl who has never been given a reason to hope. What shows up as anger is nothing more than explosive hurt, hurt that a girl has contained for so long it has nowhere to go but out and at the nearest person.”

This serves as a good reminder that the students we interact with every day are more than just surface-level reactions, behaviors, and emotions. It's when we take the time to question, to ask why, to build meaningful relationships that we can really find out who our students are underneath and help forge positive connections to move forward.

Like my assistant principal has been saying for years, if we just take the time to ask. If we take the time to consider an alternative reason other than defensiveness, defiance, hopelessness, anger, or apathy, we can find out so much more about the kids we teach.

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